iamwidescreen

Tribal politics and the deathly hallows

There were a few key moments earlier this evening when I definitely felt like a guest in the ‘real’ fans front room. And that’s not a bad thing, either. 

For me, I was never a huge fan and it was only recently with the hype for the last movie coming up that I decided to give it one final last try to make something of the whole series or just give up on it. You see, there had always been things that I liked buried underneath the weight of Rowlings somewhat 1950’s Enid Blytonesque twee naming conventions that were just so cutesy cute that I wanted to vomit. ‘Muggles’, ’ Quidditch’, ‘Hogswart’ - it was all just godawful to me. 

 But some of the darker tone I had detected in one of the movies I had seen impressed me and so finally I sat down and watched all the movies up until the last one over a space of a few weeks. And suddenly it all made sense over my compressed time. The first few movies were ones to get out of the way, albeit pleasant enough diversions with excellent actors like Richard Harris and Alan Rickman to pass the time with, but nothing too gripping or fascinating. And then it all changed with the third movie and just kept getting darker and darker, more and more grim and ‘realistic’ in the sense of repercussions, responsibility for one’s own actions and the definite power of the evil side. Characters were no longer as black and white and lots of thematic struggles, tragic mistakes and dilemmas reflected fan favourites such as ‘Star Wars’ (obi-wan training the gifted child= dumbledore taking Tom Riddle into the school) and the X-men dark phoenix saga ( also ripped off a lot more closely in Buffy: TVS’s excellent sixth season). 

 So it was that I came to finally see the last movie, excited and actually caring what happened to the characters and how Voldemort was defeated finally. It was a few weeks into the movie being out so we expected an empty theater, especially in this historic summer of movies, with every week bringing another Superhero movie, or so it seemed. But no, people just kept pouring in until we were jammed full. And this is where the key moments came into play.  

 The die-hard Potter-o-philes or whatever their preferred sobriquet is were having a great time, laughing at the right parts, gasping similarly and clapping at certain scenes, such as Neville with the Sword of Griffendorf. And the round of applause they gave the end credits. This was really the end of a rite of passage for many of them- they will always have Harry Potter but now as a complete thing, a finished thing and not something one is living through and growing with. And their obvious love of the series and joy and satisfaction they felt in watching the last of the movies (books already finished) made me smile. And made me feel like a welcome guest as they finished off their series and I not only enjoyed the last movie but also felt the specialness of such an occasion through all of the fans and for their graciousness and good-natured enjoyment of it I have to thank them all. 

 ’Muggles’ is still a crap name for humans though. Ahem. 

No More Sympathy

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/22/us-norway-blast-idUSTRE76L2VI20110722?feedType=RSS

If  pack of wild dogs attacked a city, they’d be put down like wild dogs. If these acts are indeed found to be the acts of one of the far too numerous to mention Islamic Waah Waah groups of terrorists (and they are terrorists, not freedom fighters) then they too should be put down like wild dogs. Im not talking about the death penalty, just stamping out these morons like the virulent plague that they are. Blowing up civilian streets of a democratic government is nothing more than the last resort of a twisted ill mind. Especially when it’s someone else’s government and you are nothing more than a pathetic hate-filled group of morons who don’t care how many innocent people get caught in your hyper-sexual religious fantasies about virgins and Allah in the sky. 

 And then opening fire on a youth camp. There just simply is no justification. None. Any sympathy these retards had has just been wiped out. COmpletely. Now they’re nothing more than a filthy unthinking pack of wild dogs and will be treated the same as such. 

Faith no more

I really hate the implied futility of so many people’s understanding of ‘Faith’. ‘There’s nothing you can do except pray’. No, sorry, excuse me- there’s plenty you can do. These people are a ‘God first’ excuse brigade and that’s as irritating as Colt ‘Bastard’ McCoy and his equally retarded wife and best friend Jordan ‘Also thanks Jesus every time he takes a successful shit’ Shipley. 

My attitude probably is a cultural thing. I was raised in the Catholic Flavor of Christian Organised Religions Inc. and my parents never felt it necessary to bring God into every conversation for no particular reason or purpose. Neither did they see fit to put stupid tacky crap on their cars like fish or bumper stickers, etc. to remind the world that they LUVVED JESUS ( Two ‘s’es, ONE savior!).

If you were regular religious, fine- it was the ones who got a sudden burst of religious fever who generally caused the problems, felt i t necessary to annoy the shit out of everyone and didn’t actually do anything useful like feeding the homeless, helping the poor and actually  trying to help with ‘real’ issues like junkies, teenage prostitution, etc. That was left to the ones like my sister and her friends who didn’t go around thanking Jesus whenever they won awards at rap ceremonies. 

I guess part of our reasoning was that it’s kinda obnoxious to constantly act like you needed to validate your religious fervor and also partly that Jesus told us not to do it in one of the very contradictory gospels. 

the ultimate white trash wreck after-party

So I’m walking to the bus stop opposite work and there’s a bunch of young kids, mostly Mexican standing around. There’s one car parked a ways behind a crappy looking truck. As I get closer the facts start to separate themselves into hilarious clarity. As two white hillbilly cliches (tats, terrible accent, lots of YO MTV RAPS posturing, apallingly bad moustaches) and their pleasingly plump female companion with her own share of faded crap tats that meant nothing more than ‘I’m drunk, let’s get a perma-butterfly above my rapidly expanding ass’. 

 So, the hillbillies are doing a lot of rap style hand and arm gestures to the group of teenage mexicans and are desperately trying to convince the children of the car (now minus a headlight that one or other of the Mexicans will pick up over the next ten minutes and stare at) that calling the police is a terrible, terrible idea. This is what initially makes me realize theres something totally different going on here- the relentless series of shit reasons why the kids shouldn’t call the police. None of the Hillbilly reasons make sense and it dawns on me  that they’re scared stiff of the police showing up. The kids are almost buying this ‘oh, there’s nothing the police can do ’ series of crap excuses when an older girl who knows them pulls up and talks to them and the hillbillies. The hillbillies are not happy at this. 

 The girl gives the situation enough time for an old enormous white lady to screech to a stop in front of the truck and jump out in her mu-mu, screeching already at white hillbilly boy number one who instantly defends himself with rap stance fifty-four, the Mc Hammer Crane stand (popular in 1992). The Momma familias, clearly not versed in the same school of ‘keep it cool and try to convince the Mexican Children of ‘the plan’ (the plan being keep the cops the fuck away from this mess at all costs but don’t let the kiddies know you’re doing this) starts yelling at what I imagine to be her ‘boy’ (son is a bit grand for this family) ‘Then you’re going to jail; YOU’RE GOIN’ TO JAHAIL’ .

 Sadly at this point, I had to leave as I was really hoping a passing patrol car would stop and investigate and discover that son number one had an outstanding warrant for chicken fucking in ALabama three  months previously. 

The great unwashed public, you gotta love them. Putting on all that entertainment JUST FOR ME!

breaking bad season four

Top 10 personal ad headlines that will fail

1) Seeking black lady who does not give a monkey’s ass about God or Jesus. 

2) Wanted- Latina who will never ever want to bring any of her family around.

3) Seeking honest woman- except for that really ugly one who keeps contacting me

4) Drunk seeks drunker

5) Dick Cheney Lookalike seeks Sarah Palin Lookalike

6) Jesus seeks woman who won’t shut up about me, ever. 

7) Must like poop!

8) Mom, is that you? 

9) Breast size not at all important- nope, in no way does that matter. 

10) Looking for girl with hotter than her best friend.

scary pic

this sucks like nothing else has ever sucked before

A true culinary pioneer and legend

Jose Andres is a man with a mission and an almost obsessive love for all types of food and a childlike fascination and drive to endlessly re-invent the classics whilst also taking food prep to a completely new level without losing the fun and sense of adventure that all the best chefs/creators always have. 

http://www.josemadeinspain.com/bio.htm

hungry yet?

Damnit, Anthony Bourdain! He just did a piece in his Washington show about this restaurant / institution, Ben’s Chili Bowl, now celebrating it’s 50th anniversary. I WANT, no NEED one of the half-smokers (beef/pork sausage, not frank) smothered in kraut, mustard, mayo and a healthy helping of chili. 

juliette lewis goes wayyy up in my estimation

Very funny, natural and charismatic as the guest host of Buzzcocks earlier this year- definitely can see why so many directors adore her- 

come in, ladies….

The audition for Colin’s personal assistant continues. One at a time, please…