July 2011
10 posts
Tribal politics and the deathly hallows
There were a few key moments earlier this evening when I definitely felt like a guest in the ‘real’ fans front room. And that’s not a bad thing, either.
For me, I was never a huge fan and it was only recently with the hype for the last movie coming up that I decided to give it one final last try to make something of the whole series or just give up on it. You see, there had...
No More Sympathy
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/22/us-norway-blast-idUSTRE76L2VI20110722?feedType=RSS
If pack of wild dogs attacked a city, they’d be put down like wild dogs. If these acts are indeed found to be the acts of one of the far too numerous to mention Islamic Waah Waah groups of terrorists (and they are terrorists, not freedom fighters) then they too should be put down like wild dogs. Im...
Faith no more
I really hate the implied futility of so many people’s understanding of ‘Faith’. ‘There’s nothing you can do except pray’. No, sorry, excuse me- there’s plenty you can do. These people are a ‘God first’ excuse brigade and that’s as irritating as Colt ‘Bastard’ McCoy and his equally retarded wife and best friend Jordan...
the ultimate white trash wreck after-party
So I’m walking to the bus stop opposite work and there’s a bunch of young kids, mostly Mexican standing around. There’s one car parked a ways behind a crappy looking truck. As I get closer the facts start to separate themselves into hilarious clarity. As two white hillbilly cliches (tats, terrible accent, lots of YO MTV RAPS posturing, apallingly bad moustaches) and their...
breaking bad season four
Top 10 personal ad headlines that will fail
1) Seeking black lady who does not give a monkey’s ass about God or Jesus.
2) Wanted- Latina who will never ever want to bring any of her family around.
3) Seeking honest woman- except for that really ugly one who keeps contacting me
4) Drunk seeks drunker
5) Dick Cheney Lookalike seeks Sarah Palin Lookalike
6) Jesus seeks woman who won’t shut up about me, ever.
7) Must like...
scary pic
this sucks like nothing else has ever sucked...
A true culinary pioneer and legend
Jose Andres is a man with a mission and an almost obsessive love for all types of food and a childlike fascination and drive to endlessly re-invent the classics whilst also taking food prep to a completely new level without losing the fun and sense of adventure that all the best chefs/creators always have.
http://www.josemadeinspain.com/bio.htm
hungry yet?
Damnit, Anthony Bourdain! He just did a piece in his Washington show about this restaurant / institution, Ben’s Chili Bowl, now celebrating it’s 50th anniversary. I WANT, no NEED one of the half-smokers (beef/pork sausage, not frank) smothered in kraut, mustard, mayo and a healthy helping of chili.
thecolin1: amazon.com fulfilment center in... →
June 2011
35 posts
thecolin1: ok, password changed- now hopefully no... →
juliette lewis goes wayyy up in my estimation
Very funny, natural and charismatic as the guest host of Buzzcocks earlier this year- definitely can see why so many directors adore her-
come in, ladies....
The audition for Colin’s personal assistant continues. One at a time, please…
thecolin1: Water-efficient home in L.A.'s Mount... →
thecolin1: Im tooo laaaaazy to go to work today!!... →
one lonely blue shoe in the shade
It was the shoe that Burke found three days later that sealed the case. Marcia was a shoe obsessive- to the point where she’d sought help from a local alcoholic shrink, Frank ‘likes to spank’ Callaghan. Marcia would no sooner curse in front of her mother than she would leave one of her ‘treasures’ laying in the grass right beside where Gus had pulled in off the road...
California highways
My second favorite street-sign vandalism
The other one is another Los Angeles one where some wag had added ‘…Collaborate and listen.’
If I were a few inches smaller...this would be me
Extraordinary Architecture
Pam St. Clement
It would help if I spelled her name right - for Americans reading this, I am sorry that the magnificent tackiness of Pam’s ‘Pat’ in ‘Eastenders’ has not been a part of your culture. The earrings you have missed, the fantastic hairstyles and Mumus that you didn’t experience and the wonderful ‘everyone’s mum’ acting style that Pam does with such...
Crap cat not wanted any more- please take or she's...
I have a crap cat I need to get rid of. She started whinging around my door a few weeks ago so I gave her some yogurt and pizza to shut her up. She wouldn’t shut up at nights so I let her in. She kept trying to come into bed with me until I started using a spray bottle full of water to get rid of her. Currently she lives under one of my futons and hisses or swipes a claw as I go by. I feed...
Is it just me or does this.....
slightly overenthusiastic posting about pets needing homes seem kinda creepy? And I understand people trying to get rid of unwanted animals, but come on, not every kitten or puppy can be ‘wonderful with humans and children’ , ’ a real sweetheart’, ’ the best companion ever’ -
If you want a pet you can devote your love and attention to and she will give you the...
Top marks for first class
What a great movie! Thoroughly enjoyable for viewers who couldn’t give a toss about x this and x that and just want to be entertained and also for die-hard fans of the comic universe. Great story, lots of action and great dialogue and a marvelous sense of humor as well.
One can praise the cast and go on about the characters and true enough, they are all great but of course, one would be...
Behind Beavis and Butthead
One of the most well-known aspects of the series was the inclusion of music videos, which occurred between animated segments. The duo would watch and make humorous observations (about the band, a song’s lyrics, and/or a video’s visuals), or simply engage in nonsensical dialogs. Mike Judge improvised the video comments, and they were never scripted. Almost all the animations of Beavis...
A Solution, of sorts.
Marriage isn’t what it used to be. It’s under attack by ‘the’ gays, there are whites marrying blacks, divorce rates are sky-high and more and more instances of annulments and less than a year long committments.
Here’s my solution. Make marriage certificates only as legally binding as driver’s licences. Issue them in five or ten year lengths and once they are...
File under 'things they shouldn't have done'
There is always something slightly apalling and creepy about bringing back ‘cult’ characters in the same old milieu and one has to work hard to avoid the ‘Oh God, look how old and fat they all look’ factor that Star Trek mostly avoided in their movies by having storylines, plots and knowing humour. Not so much with the much vaunted ‘Red Dwarf’ reunion(s). I...
Hulk Porn....oh dear
Sexual Innuendos in popular music
1) If you seek Amy - Britney ( oh, read it out loud)
2) I can’t keep it in- Cat Stevens ( well, get better pants then)
3) If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
4) Need a whole lotta love ( mmm hmm, no double entendres here.)
5) I won’t let the sun (son?) go down on me
6) Big Balls - Ac/DC
7) Suckin too hard on your lollipop - Mikla
8) Relax, go...
What Harte-Hanks workers do in their spare time
dumbledore no more dumbledore no more
I always argue with restaurants
: ‘kids eat free’ I shake my head ’ oh no my naive friend. There’s ALWAYS a price. ’
There is NOTHING funnier than asking for Burger King products in MacDonalds late at night. They go so mental.
Great face shot
KILL SHAG OR BUY LUNCH
It’s not a trick question- there’s that face we all know so well, those paranoid staring eyes and those slightly quivering lips parting…okay. she’s a crazy bizzatch but not entirely unattractive- you make the choice.
hh
Hot as fuck but mental as a bucket full of bats, the right wing radio show host and tea party hottie, Dana Loesch is one brand of nut that I would...
LETS PLAY PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE
This game is easy and fun. Blood may be involved so get some kleenex.
Simply, start the clock and count how many times you would be able to punch Glen ‘absent from any rational thoughts’ Beck in his oh so punchable face.
Sorry kids, I am not a violent man. But his face, his little squishy piggy racist white boy retarded face just screams ‘please punch me…HARD’
most hated person on tv
If you follow ‘A Game of Thrones’ then you’ll know the most hated person right now on tv is the little shit pretender to the throne, Jodphrey. It was one of those wanting to jump into the tv and punch him in the face moments as he turned on the deal that Lord Stark ( the great Sean Bean) had agreed to and instead had Stark executed. His weaselly little face lit up as the...
dynamite comics podcasts →
hung again
Went to see ‘The Hangover part II’ yesterday. The movie was funny, as expected but the lack of plot and the inevitable deja vu definitely watered the whole experience down. More a collection of strung along gags than any coherent narrative, a lot of the movie was histrionic performances, over the top stereotypes (although Samir was quite hilarious) and the could have bet money on it...
quotes of the week
‘I’ve watched so many dvds I’ve began to think that Jennifer Anniston is my best friend’ - Roxy on ‘Eastenders’
‘Chou crossing!’ - The Hangover Part II
ten things you would hate if anyone did them
1) A dog butchery- omg- sparks flying just thinking of it. And a restaurant attached to it. The doggy corpses hung upside down in the window- lab steak special, lean meat only, yum! Poodle stew a l’orange.
2) Female Genital Mutilation clinic: Paid for by GOP members against women.
3) Death Notice Cops: yup. pretty much what it says. Including the annual ‘mix-ups and mistakes’...
online dating site message
an online dating site messaged me that someone has chosen me….if this is that crazy German woman AGAIN or the old granny from East TExas, someone is getting a chainsaw to the knee.
tiny gods
Human beings so wretchedly deformed mentally that they can only achieve some climactic sense of purpose or achievement by extinguishing the life-force from other human beings. In a sense it’s mass conformity of the worst kind, a fascistic desire to control and stamp out imperfect systemic entries taken to it’s ultimate, horribly logical and ludicrous extreme. The killer at once becomes...
testing the waters two
wondering if this will show up in facebook
saturday caffeinated and partially taurinated
Loaded with Mint chocolates from the bag sitting my fridge- my brain is buzzing after one red bull and orange juice, followed by one OJ and Sprite Zero, my answer to not drinking one energy drink after another. I also had a blender full of fruit which was delicious.
I was just watching ‘Inside the Actor’s Studio’ which is such a good show and so horribly under-rated as both...
A brief moment of something awfully profound
About the babysitter- hmmmm- could be trouble on the horizon there, Field Marshall Byrne- just like the Time that Tiggy Byrke, Ginger Allaway and that chap with the wandering eye found the half dead hun in the field, clinging to a scarecrow and mumbling something in German. And Tiggy, ever the initiator boldly walked up to Corporal Kraut , and spying a book stuffed into the chap’s flight...
April 2010
2 posts
with bleary eyes (oh monday morning)
Monday came like a cheap thief with a ratty scarf and fingerless gloves in the night and knocked out a pleasant Sunday evening and shook me awake from a series of strange dreams, some involving Karen Gillen running around after Matt Smith. Monday is the amateur thug of the weekdays, obvious and smug. My eyes are still a bit cloudy as I finish this and get ready to leave the apartment. Work work...
A sunday amongst sundays
And a very good week for sci-fi indeed. But first, it was breakfast with the Sarge at Wafflehouse out on 291 on a wet gloomy Sunday morning. Great waffles, tasty food and three incredible looking women who joined us for breakfast.
Southland delivered another one two punch, shaking up the status quo and always showing us something new.
But of course, the real star of the show were my two...
December 2009
1 post
Sarah Palin and the moronic quotient
I was wrong- Palin IS good for something. She is excellent at making the most utterly loathsome and repulsively stupid human beings ever to come out from under the rocks they had been hiding and start to think they have something to say now that Sarah is there to lead them to moron paradise. Epic fail, guys. She’s not leading you anywhere except to her own unashamed grasp for her fifteen...